Friday, 31 December 2010

"Fresh Start" by Clive Martyn

His fat white belly rose and fell slowly with each whining snore. He was covered in hair, sticky, matted with both their sweat. She lay on the bed propped up on one hand, watching him sleep, disgusted, revolted. She knew she had reached an all time low with this one. He was one of the worst. She was desperate to shower, to be clean again but knew if she got out of bed, he would wake up and she would probably be forced to pleasure him again.
She shuddered at the thought.
The taste of him was still in her mouth; stale cigarettes, cheap alcohol and something under that which was far more disturbing.
Some days she really hated her job; not that she had a choice. She glared up at the ceiling.
"Come on," she whispered under her breath.
Slowly beneath his skin, the tangled mess of his soul, slowly appeared. Veins and arteries glowing, interconnected, pulsating. In the dim light of the bedroom the majority shone bright red, with patches of grey, black and faint small areas of green.
Arieleth shook her head. She had never seen a soul in such a terrible state - years of hate, fear, anger had taken the man's soul and mangled it into something monstrous. There was very little to save, but Arieleth was an expert. Confident that he wouldn't now wake, she got off the bed and took her scalpel from her bag. The sharp blade shone in the moonlight as she made the first cut.
A girl in the sixth grade who had mocked his fumbling affections. She picked up the long thin red strip of memory and put it in the bin.
Next she removed the times he had been bullied, and the times he bullied others.
She stripped the fights, the arguments from him. Lies, affairs and broken oaths. Dark patches of true sin, she cut into tiny pieces, and wearing her gloves tipped them into the bin as well.
It took over an hour to remove every inch of negativity, every second of failure from his soul. When she had finished, he was mostly bare, with only a few precious patches of light, moments of self-sacrifice, honesty, love. Carefully she stroked these, urging them to fill the space that had so recently stifled them.
Having done all she could, she walked to the bathroom and showered for as long as she could in water as hot as she could handle. She cleaned her teeth twice and swigged her mouthwash. Feeling half human again, she dressed by the light of the new fresh soul. Confident in her work, she left without looking back.

When the motel reception rang at 8 am, Chris woke up confused where he was, and momentarily who he was.
He felt the bed next to him, disappointed that the attractive blonde had gone. She had been amazing. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, smiling as random thoughts and memories surfaced. A strange happiness filled him and he knew for the first time in a long time, confidently, that it was going to be a good day. It was a bizarre feeling but he felt free, happy. As he left the motel, whistling, he noticed a cold and dirty homeless man stood with a pleading cardboard sign and a cup.
They were both surprised when he slipped a fifty into it.

17 comments:

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

This story makes me sigh! From such a gritty beginning, it fills with joy as the story unfolds, and spreads joy with that wonderful last paragraph. Lovely as a sunny day!

Jim bronyaur said...

Glad to see you back on #fridayflash! Great story.

Jen Brubacher said...

Ack! Now I'm teary. This is some kind of heartwarming heartbreaking and perfect for New Year's Eve. Very well done, Clive!

Carrie said...

Fantastic Clive. I adore your work. The imagery of the soul strips and the manner in which they were removed was penned with absolute skill.

Steve Green said...

Wow! I felt her disgust at the start, then was amazed at what the story unfolded itself to be.

Deanna Schrayer said...

Excellent story Clive! You make us believe, in the beginning, it will be horrific, and then punch us with optimism. Superb!

Icy Sedgwick said...

Oh this was a lovely story. Nice to see positivity among such degradation.

Clive Martyn said...

Thank you for the great comments :) Glad you all liked it; it is so nice to be back after 6 weeks off writing/fridayflash.

Happy new year everyone! :)

Julie (Okami) said...

If only the things that stifle our souls could be repaired in this way. What a great story.

OregonMJW said...

Always the completely unexpected, yet completely correct "twist." Soul saving whores, and monstrous transformation. Brilliant!

Donald Conrad said...

Wunnerful use of allegory. Thanks Clive, for the uplift.

~Tim said...

I can echo all the comments so far. Really enjoyed the trip on this.

KjM said...

The progression in this piece is masterfully handled. Gritty, gritty beginning to the mutual surprise at the end.

She has a -really- dirty job, but someone's got to do it - I'm actually glad that someone does.

Really well done.

julito77 said...

Clive, I am a big fan of opening especially with online flash piece and I love the first. I saw that image and went with it. Very cool job and the ending was perfect. A very nice rhythm to it as well.

AidanF said...

I love the premise of this piece where she surgically removes aspects of his soul. I liked the positive-bent and the touch at the ending.

trainswhistle said...

You pulled me in and I couldn't help but finish reading it. I enjoyed this start to the new year.

laradunning said...

Oh! I like this! How crafty and self-sacrificing she is. Disgusted by the man, but knows there is something of worth underneath.

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